OVERWHELMED!

Ok Sis, so today's blog is going to be a bit more direct. Satan resides in STRESS. The human body wasn't designed by our Heavenly Father to experience stress. I notice as I read my Bible that Jesus is often always correlated with PEACE. A life away from His Kingdom exposes you to constant attacks of being stressed in multiple ways. As I think back to my earliest childhood memories, I find it there. The first emotions that were terrifying and left me feeling lost and afraid always produced stress. I started to think about how my heart would race as a child anticipating the bullying from my peers that I endured in school or if my mother would lash out at me for simply asking a question or just being present. Stress invaded my thoughts as my home and living conditions were littered with violence and poverty. Whenever school dances rolled around my self-esteem always plummeted because no one ever asked me and at times that was highlighted as well with being belittled. I was always stressed.

The nonstop pursuit of acceptance and validation from family, peers, men, and even from the workplace left me constantly stressed. I was constantly triggered and reminded by my past experiences that I held no worth or value unless someone saw value in me. I was desperate to earn that in the eyes of anyone. I was anxious and nervous yet willing to compromise anything to receive even the smallest shred of attention or consideration. In my mind, I rehearsed all of the times that I didn't feel good enough or worthy and I always looked for ways to rid myself of those thoughts. I needed to be loved and be free from feeling unloved and unwanted. I was stressed.

When in these abusive relationships, I wasn't alone, but I was lonely. I was attentive to the needs of my partner, but never received the same in return. I was kind and considerate, but genuine kindness and gentleness were never provided to me. I shared the most intimate parts of me, only to be abused and dehumanized in the cruelest and coldest of ways. I was always giving and pouring, yet I found myself parched and exhausted emotionally, physically, psychologically, and spiritually. I WAS STRESSED!

The moment that I decided that enough was enough and cried out to Jesus for help.. that is when I was introduced to PEACE, COMFORT, AND REST. It took some time to fully receive because I was so accustomed to being mistreated and being... stressed. I didn't know that love wasn't supposed to hurt, betray, abuse, and lie. I wasn't aware that love wasn't transactional, but unconditional. I didn't understand that every person that positioned themself as love or confessed love for me, was simply lying. I know now that "God is love" and the moment that I chose Him, He begin to introduce me to the real me! I am a Daughter of The Most High God of Israel and with Him I am SAFE, PROTECTED, PROVIDED FOR, AND LOVED.

I have lived a life full of stress and that is a demon from hell! I refuse to allow the enemy to ravish me anymore. Instead of being overwhelmed by stress, I encourage you to be overwhelmed by the Love of God. He loved us so much that He was willing to sacrifice Jesus Christ, His only Son, in order to save us all from the enemy who wants to see us stressed. Choose Jesus over stress today and thank me later !